I'm talking to you. [obrabet-artwork.tumblr.com]
I want to preface by saying that masturbation isn’t something everyone has to enjoy, desire, or practice. There are so, SO many reasons why a lot of people don’t, and that’s cool; this post is for anyone who is masturbation-positive, on the fence, or hesitant to do so based on social stigmas. ALSO, I should mention that it will be aimed towards a more female-identified audience, because A: I’m a woman, and B: I feel that female-identified people need to hear this the most.
First, let’s take a look at the way-way-back (elementary school and junior high) where we’re all getting our little “talks”. I remember the teachers awkwardly trying to explain what parts were what, why they were there, and how using them in any way was wrong and dangerous. Even in high school, the “talk” consisted of some older woman standing at the front of the class showing slides of sexually transmitted infections that “would” vs “could” occur during any sexual interaction. I also remember the common conception that young men had frequent boners, which brought on the slew of masturbation jokes (but only on the boys’ side of the room). Even teachers would allude to the fact that boys were more innately sexual, and the girls had a very stern talking to when it came to protecting themselves against the oh-so-sexually-hungry-masculine.
I’m straying a bit from the masturbation topic, but I feel that this sort of introduction is necessary in order to emphasize the disproportionate exaggeration of one gender’s sexuality over the other. It’s no surprise that in the media, there are countless jokes made about male masturbation, along with countless terms used to describe it. Jacking off, jerking off, beating off, beat the beef, despunk, etc. These terms are pretty much all exclusively referring to male masturbation, and when you try to find any terms used to describe female masturbation, it’s near impossible to find some that are even remotely exclusive. The fact of the matter is that media, educational systems, and our entire society likes to pretend that woman don’t (or shouldn’t) masturbate as frequently as men.
Here’s where I’m going to get personal and use my own experiences to explain. When I was younger (around 10, or even younger), I noticed that certain things felt good. Unlike boys my age, who were known to get erections all over the place (this was, of course, a traumatizing experience for a lot of young men, but at the same time it was widely understood that this sort of thing happened, and I’m sure it was brushed off with jokes versus disgust), I didn’t really know if it was normal, or if I was allowed to even feel it. NO ONE talked about female masturbation. No one joked about it. No one alluded to it. The first time I actually tried it, I remember feeling so wrong and ashamed that I didn’t try again for a year or so later.
Fast forward to right now. I’m turning 23 in a few weeks, and I only recently learned how to enjoy myself to completion about a year ago. TWENTY TWO. Do you know how messed up that is? People with penises knew how to get themselves off when they were, what, 7? Because they did it. They did it often. They all KNEW they did it. They could talk about it - or at least joke about it enough that it was well accepted that all dudes did. Movies with male characters around 14-23 were portrayed masturbating. Scenes where younger men are walked-in on by their parents or babysitters is a common THEME in teen movies. When was the last time anyone saw a film (that wasn’t totally obscure or dark or R rated) that had a female character masturbating? Honestly, the only thing that comes to mind is the shower scene where the cell-mates in Orange is the New Black are all getting it on in the shower.
Masturbation is an incredibly powerful thing, and perhaps that’s why female characters are never portrayed taking part in it. It took me a while to really come to terms with that, but I think that I now have enough evidence to believe it’s true. Now, you might be wondering how masturbation is powerful. I’ll tell you, you giddy goat! Masturbation is something you can do on your own without anyone there to tell you HOW to enjoy it. You can be anywhere, doing anything, dressed in any way, and you don’t have to stop based on anyone’s commands, or change your pace to fit any other person’s preferences or needs (in your mind, I mean, because, YES, there are places and times you shouldn’t just start doin’ yourself). You are in 100% control of yourself, and not only that, but you’re enjoying and LOVING yourself. You’re taking some time to touch the parts that no one else really knows, and learning your own body in a way that makes you feel AMAZING. You can develop your fantasies, your preferences, and you can take the reins of your sexuality in an extremely personal and intimate way. Another great thing about masturbation is that it can lead to a more knowledgable experience when you’re with a partner as well. If you’re familiar with yourself, you can guide your partner to the parts you want touched, or guide them away from the parts that don’t do much. This leads to a more equal, communicative, and pleasurable experience for (hopefully) both. Tell me, how is that NOT powerful?
Women, it’s okay to be sexual. It’s okay to touch yourself and explore while you’re young. It’s okay to be sexually dominant, to know what you like, to know what you don’t like, and to seek the pleasure that (perhaps) other people haven’t given you, yet. It’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s not something to be disgusted by. It’s friggin’ great, and trust me, you’ll feel pretty damned powerful the moment you can make yourself finish without any other person there to help you along.
You go, girl.
TRUTH. Yes, this is a silly video, but it also has a pretty darned good message. Women. Like. Porn. Too.
I haven’t been up to much lately — finishing the children’s book, enjoying some Chrono Cross time — but something happened the other day that I think sums up how I’m feeling and what I’m doing.
It happened after work. Normally, my get-home-routine goes something like this: plop on the couch and undo my oversized boots, mosey upstairs and take off/hang up my oversized Winter jacket, grab my Grimace-purple housecoat and go back downstairs to shower off the coffee and syrup of the morning. It didn’t happen any different that day, either, except I was feeling a little wobbly due to a persistent flu that denied me any comfort. I got into the shower (which is a narrow, stone-tiled thing built into the tiling of the washroom) and turned the water up to hot. I turned towards the soap-basket that dangles from the shower-head, and my heart jumped when I saw one of THESE guys
scrambling up the corner of the shower, trying to get away from the steam. He. Was. HUGE. His body not so much, but definitely bigger than a normal spider of this type; and his legs were about 2 1/2 inches each. It scared the heck outta’ me, but then I noticed how distressed the little guy was. He kept sliding down because the wall was wet, and so I took a shampoo bottle and I positioned it underneath him so he couldn’t fall.
It took a while, but he would climb a bit and almost slip, and I could nudge him up with the bottle so he didn’t fall, and we went on like that for near 5 minutes before he got to the open-top of the shower. What happened next kinda’ made me smile (despite how creepy it might sound). From the top of the stone shower wall, he turned around to look at me, and he just sat there for a good while before making his way. Yeah, it was probably because he was exhausted, but it made me happy to know that he chose to rest where I could obviously still see/reach him. He didn’t think I was threat enough to keep scrambling. And turning around?
I like to think he was thanking me. Call me a silly, but it made me smile.
Asked by amildewedmind
Okay. Okay. OKAY. WHAT. Holy butts.
You. Are. Amazing.
FOLLOWERS. LISTEN NOW. LOOK AT ABDALLAH’S WEBSITE. His work is actually freaking amazing and I don’t know how the heck this is aasd;fja;lskdjfa;lsdf - what am I even doing with my life? Seriously. Your work is blowing me away. I can’t.
I’m a pretty sensitive person. I’m also a pretty observant person. Mix those two things together and what do you get? You get an extremely hyper-sensitive-to-people’s-body-language-and-tonal-responses young lady.
I notice how people speak. I notice when their sentences get shorter and more flat when they respond to things I say. I notice that fading smile every time I walk in the room, or the forced “hellos” when someone is required to “be my pal.” I NOTICE. So when you think you’re being subtle, and you’re being flat out blatant, don’t think I’m not going to mull it over in my mind and over analyze it. Because that’s what I do. I sit there and I try to figure out WHAT THE HELL I could have POSSIBLY done to deserve that sort of ostracization. Maybe it’s because I’m not as fast. Maybe it’s because I’m not as fashionable. Maybe it’s because I’m not as blonde or witty or SUCCESSFUL as you; but whatever it is, I know that it’s there. There’s some sort of unknown line in the sand that I feel I can’t or will never cross, and I don’t understand why. And there you’ll be, standing on the other side with that forced smile, doing your best to be SUBTLE.
Well, I’m sorry, honey.
Asked by amildewedmind
This made my gosh-darned night!
Really, the interview is the scariest part about it. The transition wasn’t too bad, and the profs in illustration are (so far) pretty freaking cool. If you get in, and you end up taking a full course load, then holy-butts-I’m envious-and-want-to-see-your-work-and-gaaaaah!
Unfortunately, due to FINANCIAL problems (read: the epitome of a starving artist stereotype minus the cigarettes), I was only able to take one 2nd year illustration class. I had another one lined up this semester, but it was cancelled. So boo! Hopefully you have more luck!
All the best!
(Also, I’m totally going to creep your blog like the dickens for tea as soon as I post this.)
Reblogged from johnman
I like these. Valentine’s Day is my favorite and I get sad when people put it down. It doesn’t have to be about romance…I never celebrated it that way. It’s about showing people you care about them…which you should do any day. And if someone is down about being single, it’s your chance to show them they have someone who loves them as a person still.
Reblogged from jordynelsonsass
daily reminder that the boy you’re in love with at 16 probably won’t matter when you’re 25.
daily reminder that the math test you failed your freshman year of high school probably won’t matter when you’re graduating college.
daily reminder that the problems you’re facing today may seem like the worlds end, but they will not matter in a year.
daily reminder that you’re going to be okay.
everything is going to be okay.
Argument that the boy you were in love with when you were 16 helped shape you and your future ideas about who you are and who you want romantically.
Argument that the math test you failed in your freshman year of high school helped push you to a better mark in the future, thus enhancing your chances to graduate college.
Argument that the problems you’re facing today are allowing you the chance to battle obstacles, discover solutions, and mould you into a better person.
Argument that while you will be okay, everything that happens deserves to be recognized as a thing that matters. Everything MATTERS. What matters more is how you deal with it, how you push through, and how you use it to make yourself better.
Yes, everything is going to be okay.
Hi there. I’m a barista at a pretty well-known cafe. It’s one of the busiest locations in my area, which means that at peak hours, we have about 30 people in the line waiting to get their food/drinks. Chances are, you’ve BEEN to one of these coffee places, and chances are, you’ve done one of the following things (which I think you should stop):
This doesn’t even half cover it, but so help me, if any of you do these things, you ARE going to be the angry topic of conversations for baristas everywhere. SMARTEN UP. BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING. USE YOUR BRAIN. STOP COMPLAINING.